Open-source developer Iain Kay has released a BASH script titled "Ram Altman" that monitors a user's local Linux system and emails Sam Altman once a day to report how much idle RAM is sitting on a personal device. The project was created as a satirical response to Altman's public assertion that it is "quite terrible" for individuals to hold onto a limited global supply of DRAM that is only used a small fraction of the time.
The script is a satirical response to Sam Altman's public assertions regarding the waste of personal computer memory.
The Mechanism of 'Ram Altman'
The script functions by tracking total, used, and available RAM. It specifically calculates 'used' memory as the difference between MemTotal and MemAvailable. Unlike a simple 'free' memory check, this method accounts for the kernel's ability to reclaim cache, which the developer describes as a 'plea bargain' between technical accuracy and the script's satirical goals.
If the available memory exceeds a 10% threshold, the script selects from a rotating bank of sarcastic email templates. These messages inform Altman of the specific amount of GiB currently 'hoarded' on the user's desk and its percentage of the total installed memory.
“From a global allocation perspective, actually, it's quite terrible to have everybody have a bunch of the world's limited supply of DRAM sitting in their own computer”
— GitHub - IainKay/ram-altman: Monitors your RAM and reports any "quite terrible" unused capacity directly to th
Design Constraints and Safety Features
To ensure the repository is not used for automated mail-spoofing or as a tool to flood OpenAI's servers, the script does not ship with a pre-configured email address. Users must provide their own credentials and a valid recipient address to activate the reporting feature.
For users who want to see the output without sending actual correspondence, the repository includes a --dry-run flag and a local test suite. This allows for the preview of generated messages and the simulation of memory workloads without dispatching any emails.
Technical Limitations and Scope
The tool is strictly limited to Linux environments because it reads from /proc/meminfo. The developer notes that macOS users are likely 'the hardest target' for global allocation anyway, as their RAM is often soldered down and inaccessible.
While the script is a joke, the memory accounting is described as serious. It handles page cache correctly and logs every sample to a CSV file, providing a record of the machine's memory status for 'when the auditors arrive.'
What Hacker News readers are saying
- Alternative: One commenter argued that the discussion over memory usage is primarily about economics and global allocation efficiency rather than a personal attack, while others suggested the issue is actually about the loss of individual ownership and freedom. comment ↗
- Skeptical: A reader questioned whether the script could be viewed as a form of denial-of-service attack if many users were to run it simultaneously against a single email address. comment ↗
- Skeptical: Another user pointed out the irony of using a script that voluntarily sends personal information to a company that thrives on collecting such data. comment ↗
Summarized opinions from the Hacker News thread, not verified facts. Read the full discussion ↗